WHEN ALL ELSE FAILS...FAIL FORWARD!

So once again I've been off the radar. And during this time I had lots of lessons to learn. I'm still learning and for the few I've passed I can start writing again. There was a message preached in church some time ago about success, it was titled failing forward. Basically taking lessons from a failure you experience and moving forward with them towards success. This is sort of my classroom now.

Primarily, I was waiting for a better option for internet supply and in the process got lazy. Insisting on using a laptop to type (yeah, I'm one of those people who don't like browsing or doing much with their phones except what it was invented for in the first place - calls and texts). But one of the lessons I've had learn is things change. It's been a rough start to the year and gradually I'm finding my feet again. 

It's odd being divorced, not having the dark cloud of court proceedings hanging over me every month. I thought being free from that would mean automatically things would be better. I didn't prepare for the heavy wave of depression and despair that came over me. Oh I did what I always did as though nothing were wrong, my laugh was loudest, I smiled a lot...but once I got into bed, it was a different matter. I didn't want to do anything (still don't sometimes) and yep, it also meant I didn't want to blog. So I simply didn't. 

LESSON 1: If it didn't make it to your future, it's your past - leave it there . I just felt like I didn't have a focus anymore. The one focus I had - getting divorced was taken and I fell limply. Thank God for good friends. Each time I remembered that this year would have been my 10th year in marriage, Grace Goloto would say "and so? Please shut up about it, it's your past now". If I am talking about anything to do with that part of my life, she would shut me up so fast I didn't have time to blink! It made me think about what I speak about around anyone, in case I sounded like a broken record. 

LESSON 2: It's never just about you. I was leading a care group about 3 weeks back, and during the prayer request time, a request was made for a couple who were ready to call it quits. I realised there and then that, where I am isn't because the devil is after me specifically (well, he is after me specifically!) but God wants to use my pain so I can understand another's pain. Using myself as the point of contact, I prayed the same prayer I pray when I hear such - what happened to Avi and I shall not happen to another. It's not easy being a single mom. Too many challenges associated with it. Way too many!

LESSON 3: Find a way around it. I'm back to blogging because I woke up this morning and realised my blackberry is a mini computer! I put away my "thing" of using a phone as a phone and a laptop for other stuff and typed this on my phone! If gas finishes (which will soon happen - reminder to self) I should be able to use the hot plate or microwave to cook something! I sat and stewed in my self because of this thing called divorce and started feeling ill - I started playing badminton in the evenings and like magic, the headaches are gone. 

I won't allow externals affect the truth anymore. I am the daughter of the King, and I will live like one. What about you? What lessons have you learned? Are you applying them to real life? I pray Abba leads us as always and that our lives become beacos for others who need help! Amen.