THANKFULLY GRATEFUL

This week is Thanksgiving week in my church. Other parts of the world too I’m sure. Definately in America. But as a single mom, I guess it’s easy to say I have nothing to be thankful about. I can just about hear the questions;  

“I mean, how should I be thankful for what I didn’t plan for?”

“I just lost my husband – should I be thankful?”

“My relationship of x-years just packed up, leaving me an unwed mother, is that a good thing and should I be thankful for that?”

“My husband is being unreasonable and I’m going through a messy divorce. I have no reason to be thankful;”

“I can barely feed my kids, not to talk of clothing them or paying their fees. I still owe last year’s rent – thankful my foot!”

Granted. All of these are real problems and don’t leave room (physically) for a grateful attitude. But look t it from my perspective and maybe you will see a number of things you can be thankful for.

I got married in 2005, waited before I had Aviela in 2009 when her father left. Avi was less than 9 weeks old. In the time that he’s been out of our lives, I have been miserable, owed a lot, I have been embarrassed, brought to my lowest low and the rent situation, that’s my story every year. BUT. Where there are negatives, there are also positives...

1.     I learnt to become a truly independent woman. I bought my first car, learned how t maintain it – in fact! I can tell what certain noises are before I go to the mechanic, change tyres, fix the “slow”, know where to touch if my car doesn’t do the vroom sound...basically, I am a bit of a fix-it with my beautiful jalopy! I was given the “golden opportunity” to be the kept woman of a wealthy man – complete with an expensive car, personal house, fat bank account and denied a social life. Tarnished gold...

2.     In the time that he was away, I honed my skill in cooking and baking, and made it my business. And I keep getting better. I am able to support my household on my business alone, and did for an entire year. Yep, eating is good business!

3.     I have not lost my mind. I am not a statistical divorcee - I cannot be lumped alongside some others with the comment “ehn, how sure are we that it’s not her behaviour that caused her husband to leave in the first place?” I could have been rolling with the crowd that sees nothing wrong in dating (by dating I mean sleeping with) married and influential men. I got the invitation to that gig.

4.     I am stronger now and can state my mind with a clear conscience. It used to be that I was afraid to voice my opinion. I do not rely on anyone to boost my confidence – can speak the truth and stand by it. If you ask for my opinion, I will give it. Sarcastically sometimes though

5.     Most importantly, my relationship with God is better. I see Him clearly in many ways I cannot count. He is my only source for EVERYTHING and I have written about this here before.

Basically, if all you look at is the drudgery that can be this life, you won’t be able to appreciate the blessings. I mean, you’re alive – millions dies today alone. You have a child/children – there are plenty married and have given up hope after 45 years of ever carrying a child in their womb.

You ate before going to bed last night – I bet some of you are snacking as you read this...there’s a single mom somewhere shoplifting to feed her children. The hospital is full of people with cancer, dying of aids, living on the streets, limbless etc and there you are, saying that you got nothing to be thankful for?

Look into the eyes of your baby/babies – as a widow, you have a piece of your husband with you. I know of a widow who lost her husband, then her 6 month old baby and another woman who lost all her grown children in one day. The fact that you can read this shows you’re privileged. Some cannot use the computer, much less have internet access. Be thankful for what you have, especially for what you don’t have. Happy Thanksgiving...