DECLARE DEPENDENCE!!

Nigeria was 54 two days ago. All the yada yada yada about the history of Nigeria was re-hashed. Again. The normal parades, green and white, school children learning and singing...as usual, I got thinking.

As single mothers, we're quite independent. We (usually) don't rely on anyone for what we need. There are very proud ones amongst us for whom doing it all alone is imperative - you're doing a great job. The truth of the matter is, sometimes, we put ourselves in bondage trying to maintain our "independence". So called "pride" and "shame" will not allow us to admit that we actually need help. 

Strength is shown when you can admit your weakness. I dress well enough, speak well enough, I'm able to cover many lapses and no one can tell that there's a hole in my pant. Yes, I have holey-pants. Call them comfort-pants...I digress. Make-up and smiles cover up a lot of blemishes and frowns as clothes cover nakedness. But the truth can never be hidden.

This evening, I got a call from a single mom and she was broken. I always saw her in church and she looked good. I was happy, that she was doing better than before. It was a face she put forward. She didn't want to talk to anyone about what she was facing and in trying to be "independent", she was worn out. She broke down in tears saying she was tired. She was fed up and didn't know how to handle things or herself.

There's no need to get to this point. Look, hear (or read) me loud and clear: THERE IS NO SHAME IN ASKING FOR HELP! Through out last week, there was no food in my house, and I had no money. Not even a place to borrow. Cake orders were not coming in so no hope for cash. School started and I didn't know what to do. There was no way I was going to keep Avi at home - she needs school and I can't play with that. Ever. I put shame and pride aside and talked to a friend to help me make school lunch for Avi (our kids are at the same school) and we ate beans for breakfast, lunch and dinner until I had my salary paid. If I didn't ask, I don't know how I would have coped. And, there was a small sac of rice for me from her as well. The bible says you don't have because you don't ask, James 4:2 and unless you ask for it, how do you expect to get help?

Maybe it's time to be dependent and not independent. You can't cry on your own shoulders can you? Ehen! So don't be afraid to ask for a shoulder to cry on! 

Happy Dependence.