THIS IS TEMPORARY TOO...

Aviela and I were on our way to watch Planes (Disney movie like Cars...) when all of a suddenly, she turns to me and asks a question I was not expecting. At all! This was how it went;

Avi: Mum
Me: Yeah baby
Avi: When are you going to get married again?
Me: (After a hard swallow) When God thinks it's time.
Avi: Ok. But who are you going to marry? My dad or some other guy (some other guy was said with much disgust)
Shocked Me: Erm...some other guy?
Avi: No. You will marry my dad, not that other guy...

I guess it's safe to say that conversation did not end in any one's favour. Fast forward to yesterday. I was on my way to church with friends and one of them said, "I've seen your blog, but I hope you know you're not going to be a single mom forever?" As if that wasn't enough, I got to church and the pastor made reference to his babariga that he wore once and had it kept to wear to a special occasion like...yep! You guessed it. My wedding.

It got me thinking about it seriously. I know one of the things that single mothers face is loneliness. Especially for those who have enjoyed the companionship and closeness that marriages bring. I do want to remarry but not like I did the first time. And unless your divorce or bereavement is recent, I expect that you do too. Guess what? God wants you married again too! But that's if you want to though. Psalm 68:6a (NIVUK) says that He (God) sets the lonely in families... That is proof enough for me because I do get lonely. And you KNOW I'm not just talking about companionship. For that part, Paul said, I do, though, tell the unmarried and widows that singleness might well be the best thing for them, as it has been for me. But if they can’t manage their desires and emotions, they should by all means go ahead and get married. The difficulties of marriage are preferable by far to a sexually tortured life as a single. 1 Corinthians 7:8-9 MSG. So know then, that God has remarriage in mind for you.

Someone might say, but I have a child/children. That is even more reason to be remarried. No matter how old, all children need a father figure in their life. If you have chosen not to remarry, I trust that you have a brother, uncle, male cousin or friend that fills that role. Aviela has the best god father a girl can ask for, and she feels like a princess whenever they're together. I love watching them...sigh...anyway!

There are two books I read and I recommend because it helps a lot to deal with this "remarrying" issue. The first is Marriage, Divorce and Remarriage by Kenneth E, Hagin and Single, Married, Separated and Life After Divorce by Myles Munroe. I've read these books till they shriek in fear when I go to my library! The principles apply to all single moms, whatever your choice or circumstance (see How Come Doesn't Matter). After reading, I came to a logical conclusion. 

First, whoever comes to woo me, must have first made Jesus the lover of his soul. Only one who understands the love of Christ can love as I deserve to be loved.

...NEXT!

Secondly,no man can claim to love me and not love mine. After Jesus, he must be crazy in love with Aviela. I don't need a man who would only tolerate her. No way!

Thirdly, he needs to be nutty about me. You better believe I've gotten enough experience to know when a man does not love me. 

Eventually, this will be me...and you!

Now, his material status, looks, height etc might be more important to some but these, as I've learned, are the minors compared to the majors I shared above. It also doesn't mean I don't want a tall, dark and handsome oh! Ehen.