Frozen In Time

There are days when we wake up and the world is upside down - or maybe we are the ones upside down...well, that's what happened to me yesterday. All through the day I was cranky and sour, pouring out my frustrations on my daughter. Then I heard a Word that changed my disposition. 

It's hard enough to handle our children even in a 2-parent household but it's an entirely different situation as a single mom. You're the one in charge of rent, school fees, food and let's not forget, most importantly, love. Sometimes or in some cases, almost always, we allow our yesterday affect our child/children's tomorrow. I'll explain that a bit more.

I had dreams of how my life would be. All I could really think of growing up showed I would be an ace wife and mom. I didn't have grand dreams of becoming a doctor or lawyer or anything like that. I was interested in things that in retrospect, I now know was pointing me in the direction of mother and wife, things that I could do from home. Things like designing, baking or cooking (which I actually do now), writing etc. I never had room in my mind for divorce. 

Today, I'm a single mom weighed down by the "failure" of my childhood dream and the daily rigors of living affect my thinking and behavior. I'm irritable and easily annoyed by the same light of my life - Aviela. I'm allowing the darkness of the divorce discolor my present, and in turn, my moods and disposition darken Aviela's future. My experience is becoming a download into life lessons for her. Still confused about what I'm talking about? This is what I mean; wounded parents produce wounded children. Whether it's divorce, death or abandonment that caused you to become a single mother, if we allow our views to be distorted by what we've been through, our children will grow up with even more issues  than absent or semi-present dads. There is truth in the Word of God and the truth is no matter how your dreams have been altered, changed or destroyed, God has a better plan for your life than you could ever think. 

Someone once said that truth comes slow when the mind is frozen - defrost your mind from what happened, and begin to experience the now you live in, the future God has for you and most especially, the treasures He has blessed you with. Let's color their futures with the bright colors that they are born with. Enjoy the laughter they bring along with them, be silly once a day with them, listen to their warped yet serious logic and watch their angelic faces as they sleep. Live the now, forget the past.